A Dreamer's Diary

09/21/08

2008-09-21T12:21:00.001-04:00

I'm in a dormitory room filled with rows of bunk beds. It's night time, and the lighting is very subdued. Lying in a top bunk, I seem to be fidgeting, and decide to get up, dress and walk around.

After walking a few feet from my bunk, I change my mind and decide to go back to bed. When I get back to my bunk, which is at eye level, I notice a pair of sneakers sitting in it, then my eye catches some slight movement under the covers. I quickly confirm that I have the right bunk, and a closer inspection reveals a small baby lying in my bed. I pick up the baby .. a girl with a pretty doll baby face.

Then I'm distracted by a friend who says, "Let's go eat," and I'm suddenly no longer holding the baby. A couple is with my friend .. a man and a woman whom I don't recognize. They all walk away from me to exit the dorm, but I realize that I must get dressed, and determine to quickly do that and catch up with them.

I start to look for my shirt when I notice that I'm wearing it .. it's just unbuttoned. I slip on my jeans, but they seem to be too big .. I wonder if I have someone else's jeans. My companions are no longer in view so I quickly turn my attention to finding my slippers. I'm frustrated because a lot of shoes and clothing are cluttering the floor, and it takes a minute to locate them.

I recall that a nice restaurant is located in the basement of this building, and this is where my companions are heading. I discover the door leading to the basement and open it to observe a long open wooden stairway. Peering down into the basement from the top of the stairs, I see a dirt floor .. and about a dozen rats are scurrying around. Wondering if I have the correct doorway, I stop someone who works in the building who confirms that it is. When I tell him I'm afraid of being attacked by rats .. he informs me that all I need to do is talk to them as though we are holding a conversation, and they won't bother me if I move slowly.

I descend the stairs and find a long stick propped against the hand rail .. grab it, and begin tapping it on the floor ahead of me as I walk. The approaching rats scamper away as I do this. One creature starts batting at the stick with its paw. I observe that it's a small cat.

I cross the room and open the door to the restaurant. It's filled with diners, and I begin to look around to locate my friend. No luck .. but I observe another dining area through an open doorway, and enter there. Lots more diners, but still no luck. I cross that room and open the door to yet another room. It is a storage area filled with what looks to be a bunch of stacked chairs and computers.

This is when I determine that I'm actually dreaming, and decide to awaken myself from the dream. I'm having a hard time awakening, and start jerking my head and upper body around in an attempt to return to the real world. I finally awaken enough to recognize that I'm indeed in my bed, but start to slip back into my dream. I have to struggle even harder to get myself awake. I know that my dream will be gone from my memory by morning, so I sit up, plant my feet firmly on the floor, and grab my pen and dream log.

08/10/07

2007-08-10T13:24:00.000-04:00

I’m driving my car down a street in a run-down area of my city. There are large 3-story row houses on either side of the street. Their exterior is brick, and in good condition, but they are vacant. I consider how all my daughters and grandchildren could move in with me and have plenty of private space. I make a mental note to come back and check out the character of the neighborhood. But, as I consider the likelihood of remodeling and updating costs, I realize that the idea is flawed due to the financial burden of taking on such a project.

Suddenly I’m on another street, a four-lane road, driving in my right lane, and overtaking cars in the left lane at a somewhat unsafe speed. Then I’m driving slowly in my left lane. A woman in a salmon colored car is trying to pull away from the curb, but my front passenger door is open, and she has to wait for me to pass before safely pulling out. We meet at a signal light that has turned red. After stopping, I look over at her and apologize for having my door open, but she responds that it’s OK, and that her passenger door is open, too. I take a look, and sure enough, it’s wide open.

Next, I’m riding an undersize mustard-yellow bicycle where I come to a dead-end in the road, and must hoist my bike, then myself, up a short steep terrace. I gaze down at the road and see that the woman who had been driving the salmon-colored car is now on a bicycle too, and attempting to negotiate the terrace. So, I reach down and lift her bicycle up to where I’m standing. I then turn to assist her, but she has made it up the terrace on her own. I look at her nice bike, and next at my trashy bike, and explain that I bought mine at a garage sale for five dollars. I see that my bike seat is loose, and make another mental note to tighten it when I get home.

Then, I’m on a street where the sidewalk is crowded with pedestrians. I approach a group of men milling about in front of a building. A ruddy-faced man is remarking to another, speaking English with an accent. While I’m trying to “place” his accent, another man gets in my face, and raises his fists in a boxing stance. I realize that I’m in a section of the city where the men do not like strangers, and will often try to pick a fight with them. And, here I am dressed in a suit & tie while everyone else is dressed in casual clothes. I feel “out of place.” Anyway, I lift my hands, palms facing my antagonist, and shake my head “no” to let him know I want no confrontation. As I cross the street and walk away, I awaken from my dream.

01/07/07

2007-01-08T02:25:00.001-05:00

It’s night time, and I am trying to turn on my dining room light, but no luck. I head for the basement to check the circuit breaker box. I descend the stairway to the landing, see that the remaining stairway is missing, and jump down into the basement. A small dog runs out of the storage room wagging its tail. I surmise that someone has removed the stairway to keep the dog from coming up into the living area.

I walk to the back of the basement to check circuit breakers and find that the breaker box is missing. I decide to find my son-in-law and ask him about it. As I head from the basement I see that the stairway is no longer missing and am surprised that it was replaced so quickly and quietly.

I go out to the garage to find that a party is underway. The overhead door is open, music is blaring and party guests are driving up and down the alley in their hotrod cars. I ask someone where my son-in-law is, and they reply that he has gone out of town to pick up a truck.

I’m angry that this loud party is going on and my circuit breaker box seems to be missing. On a hunch that it has been moved, I head back into my basement where a search reveals that the breaker box has indeed been moved. I suspect my son-in-law has done this, and am wanting to ask him why.

I locate my daughter and ask her what the party is all about. She gives me a look of resignation and replies, “You know Kevin and his parties.” I awaken from my dream.

01/05/07

2007-01-05T12:03:00.001-05:00

I am standing in my back yard and see some people running toward me with frightened faces, and pointing up to the sky behind them. I can hear a noise increasing in volume, but the sound is unfamiliar to me. Then, some large illuminated orbs come into view overhead. Large beams of light emanate from them, and a few people are lifted in those beams and stand suspended about ten feet off the ground.

A brilliant white pulsating orb enters overhead in the center of the others, and a beam of light descends upon me, lifting me into the air. I am curious about what is happening, not frightened. I awaken from my dream.

12/30/06

2006-12-30T04:34:00.000-05:00

I’m kneeling on a flat paver sidewalk in front of a newer house digging in the earth with my bare hands. I’m searching for something important or valuable. (I’m not certain if I knew what I was searching for, or if this is a dream detail I can’t recall.) I feel something and pull it from the ground to reveal a water filled canning jar with some translucent bug-like creatures floating around. I empty the jar into my hand and observe that the bug-like creatures are limp and lifeless. I pull out a second jar. Same thing. Then, I begin digging in another spot and feel a ring buried there. I pull it from the ground and see that it’s the ring my girlfriend gave me when I was fifteen years old.

Then I’m inside the house with some strangers who hand a cordless phone to me. The woman on the line wants to know what progress I have made in my search. I tell her that I have not yet found what I’m looking for, then tell her about the ring. An intense sensation of love for my childhood girlfriend engulfs me as I relate the story. I notice that I have placed this ring on my wedding ring finger, remove it and place it on the ring finger of my right hand. As I end the phone conversation I say, “I will call you later, Mrs. Williams, and let you know what progress I’ve made in my search.” My dream ends.

12/23/06

2006-12-23T11:33:00.000-05:00

I'm in a cubicle at my job, other people are there with me. This dream is not revealing where I work, or what job I hold there. My co-workers are not people from “real life.”

One of the people in my cubicle, a young man with dark blond shoulder length hair, starts acting up, pushing a female worker around. I tell him to leave my cubicle; he refuses. I grab him by his arm and his hair in an attempt to throw him out, but he struggles loose. I yell to the others there to call Security, but they pay no attention to me.

As I try to grab him again, I’m distracted by the sensation of something rubbing my leg, sort of a tickling feeling. I awaken and notice my leg is rubbing against my blanket, and relate that to the tickling in my dream.

12/07/ 06

2006-12-08T11:36:00.000-05:00

It’s daytime; I’m standing outdoors. A man with a gun suddenly appears in front of me. He takes aim at me and shoots. I hear the sound of the gunshot and fall to the ground. I feel no pain, but think I’ve been shot in the stomach. I think if I lie still someone will come to my aid. Then I think about the possibility of dying. The thought of leaving this life with everything not yet finished is unsettling. Next, my vision dims and I have the sensation of not being able to breath. As a feeling of panic begins to fall upon me, I awaken from my dream.

12/05/06

2006-12-05T23:19:00.001-05:00

I'm at work at a job I had over 20 years ago as an electronics technician. However, the work space resembles the southwest part of my basement. My supervisor, the engineer I worked for, is there. He moves my workbench from where I had it. I'm upset about it, but he explains that it opens up some space so I can easily get to a desk that sits against the wall. I am satisfied with his explanation.

He walks away, and I am confused about what task I'm supposed to be working on. My workbench is bare except for a few tools. Furthermore, I have this gnawing feeling that I lack the knowledge and skills to perform whatever might be expected of me.

Then a couple young women approach my work area from the southeast part of the basement, and dump a small wheelbarrow of debris on the floor which raises a small dust cloud. When I object, they inform me that they are doing some remodeling upstairs, and they were instructed to dump the debris there.

I head upstairs and enter a large room with several workers standing around. I ask someone to tell me who is in charge of the job, and he points to "Dan" across the room. I approach "Dan" and inform him that his workers are dumping in my work area and raising dust. He replies that the instructions in his work contract direct him to dump there.

At this point a knock on my bedroom door awakens me from my dream.

10/05/06

2006-10-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

I am driving on a makeshift roadway across the bed of a river that has been dammed, but still appears to be wet. When I get to the other side, I’m no longer driving, but am climbing near the top of a cliff. The side of the cliff is lined with people standing on the shoulders of other people the entire height of the cliff. I am actually climbing over these people to reach the top of the cliff. The scene changes as I reach the top.

Now I’m in a building walking from room to room. I’m trying to find an exit. As I walk through one room, two elderly ladies in nightgowns are in their beds, arms reaching, and they are calling out to me as though they are in distress. I quickly exit through a doorway into another room and can see a glass paned door that leads outdoors. But, once in that room I see that it is outfitted with small dining tables, and nicely dressed ladies are sitting around conversing with one another. I am embarrassed that I have intruded on a private function, and quickly exit that room through another doorway.

Now I’m in a small storage room, and begin to feel frustrated. Suddenly, I realize that I’m dreaming, and consider waking myself from the dream, but decide otherwise. I then look around this small room and see that the only doorway out of there is the one I just entered through. At that point I decide to awaken from my dream, and do so.

09/01/06

2006-09-01T09:53:00.000-04:00

I’m sitting in the front passenger seat of the car belonging to my business partner, Eslie. He walks up to the car and, slurring his words, tells me he has a sore throat. I reply that 2 of my grandchildren have the same thing going on. He gets into the car and takes off. We are in a large parking lot filled with cars. He is driving fast, swerving down these paths in between rows of parked cars. He heads down a driveway between 2 buildings. A parked car ahead is blocking him, and it appears that he is going to try to squeeze through a narrow opening. He slams on his brakes at the last moment, avoiding a crash. I ask him if he’s been drinking; he answers, “no.”

Suddenly we are inside a building in a large open office area filled with desks. Many people are there. In a quiet voice he tells me that another partner, Jim, will probably be coming up to me to say something, and what he says will be like lightening striking. It seems like he is starting to go into some detail about it, but is still slurring his words in a soft voice. I cup my ear with my hand and ask him to repeat himself, but people are standing nearby and he stops talking, not wanting them to hear what he is saying. Then, looking around to make sure nobody is listening, he goes on to tell me that it’s confidential and must not be repeated. I reply that in the many years we have known each other, he knows that I keep all company business confidential.

Then it occurs to me to suggest that we wait and talk privately in person, not on the phone which could be bugged. I wake up as I’m about to speak, but it is a false awakening. Actually, I am still dreaming. I’m in my bed struggling to awaken enough to record the dream in my log book. I’m surprised to notice that someone has pushed a bed next to mine. I see that it’s my granddaughter, Haley, once my eyes adjust to the dim light. I decide to record my dream and attempt to turn on my reading light; it doesn’t work. I realize that Haley unplugged it when she moved her bed next to mine. I awaken as I reach for the plug.

08/29/06

2006-08-29T13:27:00.001-04:00

I am visiting a relative’s house, and hanging up a few of my baseball caps in the basement stairway. I see a childlike figure in the basement below; it looks up at me then runs out of sight. I wonder if I imagined it, and for a moment consider going into the basement to check it out. I look away to grab some folded paper bags; when I look back the basement is dark. I’m alarmed and step back into the kitchen. I see that all the lighting has significantly dimmed throughout the house. As I walk into the living room, my daughter, Sharon, jumps up to the back of the couch. A look of fear and apprehension is on her face, and her form is very dark. It’s the same with my granddaughter, Haley, standing a few feet from me. She seems to be struggling; her body is writhing.

I suddenly realize I’m dreaming, but just as I’m about to force myself awake from this disturbing dream I remember that I can take control of it. I hold my hand out to Sharon helping her down from the couch. I hug Haley and tell her that everything is OK. I inform them that I’m having a lucid dream and explain what that means. The lights have already returned to normal brightness. I go on to explain that since I’m now directing my dream that nothing bad will happen. My partial plate loosens from the roof of my mouth as I’m speaking and I remove it. I notice that it has broken into several pieces, a disturbing revelation. (so much for dream control) I feel self conscious about having missing teeth, and decide that I will cut my visit short and drive home first thing next morning.

I walk into the kitchen where women folk, distant relatives whom I don’t know, are washing and drying dishes. I ask them for a sandwich bag, they point to a box on a shelf that contains several boxes. I don’t recognize the box, so they hand it to me. Apologetically, I tell them that I’m good at looking right at something and not seeing it.

As I walk into the dining room, I place the pieces of partial plate into the bag and zip it shut. As I’m putting the bag into a jacket pocket, I realize this is not my jacket, recalling that mine hangs in the basement stairway. I remember the disturbing event that occurred there a while ago and decide not to open the basement door. I awaken from my dream.

Note: A recurring dream has been the dimming of lights, a malfunctioning light switch, the realization I’m dreaming, then forcing myself awake. This is the first lucid dream that I can recall making the decision to alter the course of the dream rather than waking myself up from it. Interestingly, as I was excitedly explaining about lucid dreaming to my daughter during this dream, I wondered if she, too, would remember it the next morning.

08/26/06

2006-08-26T22:44:00.000-04:00

In this dream I’m in my living room napping on my reclining chair (where I actually was during this dream). I awaken from my nap and move over to the couch nearby. When I look back at my recliner, a former co-worker, Mark, is sitting there. I hear someone else in the kitchen, and wonder if it’s another co-worker, but a young man, early 20s, enters the living room and sits down next to me. He puts his foot up on the couch which disturbs me. Mark introduces him to me, and I ask the young man if he is a new employee. I don’t remember his reply, but seem to recall that his answer was vague.

I tell Mark that I’m surprised to see him, and that I had entertained the thought of inviting him over, but just never got around to it. I enquire if everything is OK; he turns his head away for a moment then looks back and answers, “yes.”

Mark just sits there all relaxed, but I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open. I’m fighting sleep. I’m sure that he is noticing this, so I decide to stand up and get fully awake. But, as I stand up, I awaken from my dream.

08/25/06

2006-08-25T14:35:00.000-04:00

I’m in my old yellow Volvo with a passenger heading toward Brown Street. Our destination is where Oakwood City Limit begins but the area does not look familiar. I drive up a narrow roadway only to come to a dead end. As I back down this road that is on a grade, I apply my brake, but the car is not slowing. I then try to get some assistance from my parking brake; it seems to help, but I can’t bring the car to a stop. I can see cars traveling on the main road below, and hope I don’t wreck into one. I negotiate the backward turn on to the street safely, feeling a sense of relief. I put my car in first gear; the clutch works roughly and I have to gun the engine to take off.

Next, I’m standing in my back yard, and see my overhead garage door begin to open. I hear the sound of a big diesel engine and suddenly see a large white vehicle traveling up the alley. It reminds me of a troop carrier, has a snow plow on front and the words “Germantown Police” lettered on its side. My son-in- law, Kevin, is driving. He turns into the intersecting alley, backs into a fence, then turns back down my alley, traveling fast and plowing snow as he goes. At the end of the alley, he turns left onto the street and is quickly out of sight

Then, I’m standing in the dark outside a warehouse type building with another guy. We are about to walk away when I realize I’m barefoot. The guy reminds me that I left my house slippers inside the building. I step inside, but this person stays outside and shuts the door on me. The only light is coming from the next room, and I decide to wait a minute while my eyes adjust to the dim light. Suddenly, he opens the door laughing as though he has just played a trick on me. We walk over to the next room and enter. My slippers are lying on a high table or bench. I grab them, but realize, as I’m placing them on my feet, that someone has cut both sides of each slipper. I voice a complaint to the guy, then the phone rings and I answer. Someone wants to know where the other guys are; it’s time for them to leave. I notice a few piles of army dress uniforms on the floor, and tell him I don’t know where they went, but I’m sure they will be back soon.

I hang up the phone, and this guy and I exit the building. It is now day and we are standing on a balcony peering far down into the area that we must cross. There is lots of water, but I notice a rocky area where I think we can get across, because I can see what I make out to be people scampering across the rocks. My companion points out that these are not people, but wiry hairy monkey-like creatures. As we are about to descend a stairway to the land below, several people arrive for some morning event that is to take place. I recognize them as members of a club I used to belong to years ago. One of them asks me where I’ve been. “Home, behaving myself”, I reply. “You still live at home?”, he asks, as if to imply I still live with my parents. “I own the house”, I curtly answer as I walk away.

08/21/06

2006-08-21T11:49:00.000-04:00

I’m in my house puffing on a cigarette when it occurs to me that I should not be smoking indoors. I’m certain that my mother is going to smell the odor. Upset about my forgetfulness, I step out my back door onto a balcony that is several feet above the ground. I take several quick puffs on my cigarette, and almost flick it into my back yard when I remember how unhappy it makes me to see other people’s discarded butts littering my lawn.

Then, I no longer have a cigarette, but instead am still on the balcony gazing out at billowy white and gray clouds in the sky. Impassioned classical music is playing, and I realize that I can make the clouds change into various colors by dramatically waving my arms to the music. Next, I do the same to buildings in the distance.

It is suddenly nighttime and I am out on the street walking quickly toward my car which is parked at the curb a few houses away from mine. A teenage girl is with me following close behind. Then, a car whizzes past us, and several young men inside begin to whoop and holler. I think they must recognize the girl as they bail out and start running toward us. A young man appears in front of me, having come from the opposite direction. He seems almost hysterical, but laughing and making pointing gestures at his chest. I think he is about to fall and I grab and steady him. I’m calmly reassuring him that everything is OK when the other guys arrive, 2 of them. I’m worried that they are going to mug me, and wonder if I can make it to my car, jump inside and lock the door. I have only my keys on me, no billfold, no money. They are in my face, but do not attack me, yet I’m afraid of being beaten unconscious.

Then, I decide to attack instead. I swing my fist at one guy’s head, but it is a slow awkward movement, almost like I’m swinging through a wall of jello instead of air. My fist goes through his head as if he were a hologram.

Next, I’m in the alley a few houses east from where my alley intersects. I realize it’s 3:30 AM as I walk past my granddaughter, Mariah, and one of her girlfriends. I turn toward them and start to say, “It’s time …”, but she interrupts with, “I know. It’s past my bedtime.” She starts walking toward our house, but the person with her is no longer her girlfriend. I gaze upon her face and see that she is Mariah’s mother, my youngest daughter, at the age of 4 or 5. She is lying down, pulling some brush over herself as though she is going to sleep out there for the night. I awaken from my dream.

08/20/06

2006-08-20T11:31:00.000-04:00

Here are a couple dream fragments. I couldn’t muster the discipline to get fully awake to write; however, I did awaken enough at the time to recall the details to my mind.

In one dream I am planning to escape from wherever I am. I’m not locked up in a room or cell, but I’m not allowed to leave this place. I am sneaking around so I won’t be observed by anyone. This dream lasted for several minutes, but I no longer recall my activities in detail.

In another dream I’m in my car and someone is lying on the road in front of me. I decide to pass over him, but worry that he might get caught on the car’s undercarriage and be injured. Nevertheless, I drive over him, and sure enough, my car drags him for several yards before I see him on the road in my rearview mirror. It seems that I know I’m dreaming, and realize that nobody is getting hurt in real life. Anyway, I rush back to him. He is lying on his side, and several bones are protruding from his back. Yet, he is fully conscious and conversing with me. I seem to recall that there were a number of events that involved me driving my car prior to this ‘man-in-the-road’ episode, but again, I no longer recall the details.

08/19/06

2006-08-19T10:01:00.000-04:00

I arrive home at night and step onto my front porch, keys in hand. It’s dark, and I fumble around on my key ring to locate my front door key. I’m not able to recognize the correct one.

I can hear a ham radio or CB transmission from a house or car across the street. (This is not my street or house in real life.) I gaze across the street, but see no one; no house lights are on. My house lights are also off, including the porch light. I still can’t locate the correct key, and I’m becoming frustrated. A small key comes off my key ring; I don’t recognize it and slip it into my coat pocket.

I suddenly notice a young man, maybe 20 years old, sitting a few feet away on my porch bench. He has no shirt. He does not look at me or acknowledge my presence. Then, I notice a white cat on my porch, and I chase it away. I look over at my bench again, and a second young man has joined the first. They are talking, but I can’t hear what they’re saying. I wonder if they are going to try to enter my house once I get the front door opened. I’m not frightened, just concerned.

Then, I see the cat is back, joined by 2 other light colored cats; they are playing together. I am still frustrated that I can’t find my door key and decide that I’ll try one at a time in the lock. I resolve to turn on my front porch light the next time I leave home for the evening. I wake up as I start to insert the first key in the lock.

A Dream Come True

2006-08-17T23:46:00.000-04:00

It was a little over 20 years ago, yet I remember this dream as clearly as when I awoke from it. It’s one of those detailed dreams where everything is sharply in focus.

But, first a little history about the person involved, my friend Richard who was around 10 years my senior. I was 44 years old at the time. Richard rented a house from his older brother who had an office a block away in the same building that housed mine. He had set up a photography studio in a front room of this old house, and furnished it modestly but comfortably. I often stopped and visited Richard for an hour or so after the work day ended, and we would occasionally go out in the evening together and hit a bar or three. Drinking buddies.

Now, the dream. I enter Richard’s house and call for him. No reply. I climb the stairs and turn at the end of a long hall. I gaze into the bathroom at the far end of the hall and see Richard lying face down on the floor. He is wearing pajamas and a plaid robe. I rush down the hall and into the bathroom. I say, “Richard, are you alright?”, as I kneel beside him and realize that he is dead.

I immediately awaken from my dream; I am shaken, and I'm amazed at how clear and in focus everything in the dream was. I recall the details of the dream in my mind. I dismiss it with the thought that I would not be entering Richard’s house and searching for him in real life; it was just a disturbing dream.

Now, Richard had an unplanned career change that year, but was determined to be a professional photographer, as he was accomplished at it on an amateur level. However, he had also taken another job that generally got him out of the house by 8-9 AM each morning.

Several weeks had passed since experiencing that disturbing dream, and I had forgotten all about it. It was late morning on that day, and Richard’s brother came into my office to tell me that Richard’s car was still at the curb, his screen door was “hooked” shut, and he did not answer the knock at his door. He was concerned that something was wrong, and asked me to accompany him back to Richard’s house. We walked over there and decided to break the screen in the door, lift the hook, unlock the door with his spare key, and enter.

Once inside Richard’s house, we called out to him, but received no answer. His brother looked at me and said, “I can’t stand the thought of going up there and finding him dead. I hate to impose on you this way, but would you go up there and see?” I replied that maybe he was sick or injured and was unable to answer us, and that I would go up and check it out. I climbed the stairs and turned. I heard soft music playing in Richard’s bedroom which was the first room off the hall. So, my attention was drawn to that room as I called his name and quickly stepped inside. Richard’s bed was unmade, and a portable radio and small lamp situated on his night stand were turned on.

I stepped back out into the hall and looked into the bathroom at its end. There was Richard in his pajamas and plaid robe lying face down on the bathroom floor. I rushed down the hall and into the bathroom, calling out, “Richard are you alright?” But, as I knelt beside him, I quickly realized that he was dead. I went back down the stairs, informed his brother, and we called the police.

The strange thing is, I did not recall the dream at the time. Perhaps it was because of the shock of finding my friend dead. A couple hours later I was sitting at my desk, and it hit me; I recalled the dream. I had pretty much lived every detail of that dream. Had the dream come to prepare me for what I would eventually have to do? I don’t know. I do know that I was pretty shaken to find Richard like that. But why did that premonition come to me in the form of a dream? I still wonder about it to this day.

08/16/06

2006-08-16T11:01:00.000-04:00

This dream is really vague, probably because I did not awaken immediately after dreaming. In fact, I was awake for a couple minutes before the recollection of the dream popped into my head.

A companion and I are making our way down a railroad track. We are crawling over large pieces of equipment that are lying on the track. I think we are trying to get away from someone. A few moments later we are standing in the track bed looking into my friend’s back yard. I am surprised that our trek led us there. I do not recall if the dream continued from there.

08/13/06

2006-08-13T10:18:00.001-04:00

I am with my friend, Debra, at her house. I am dressed in casual clothes, she in a long silk purple nightgown. We are face to face lying on her bed, and I am caressing her thigh. I have not seen her for some time, and I start to explain, but she cuts me off. She raises her voice as she interrupts; her tone is one of hurt, not anger.

She tells me it doesn’t matter, and that she is leaving on a ship to South America next week. I recall that she has talked about going there before, and realize she intends to be there with another man. I am crushed, heartbroken. I continue with my explanation, telling her that there is nothing wrong with her, and that I am the one who is dysfunctional.

Debra’s mood suddenly changes; she understands that I want to marry her. I realize that I don’t have an engagement ring for her, but she doesn’t even mention it. I carefully make the point that we need to discuss everything before we take our wedding vows; know each other’s situation and expectations.

By this time we are in her kitchen, and a friend of Debra’s enters the room. Debra jokingly tells her that she is going to have a nanny (referring to me, babysitting her son), and I interject, “Yeah, right!” We embrace, and I wake up from my dream.

08/12/06

2006-08-12T11:54:00.000-04:00

I’m in a Sunday School classroom at the church I attended as a kid. My friend, Jane, is with me. Young adult male choir members, whom I don’t recognize, stroll into the room. They are wearing band uniforms instead of choir robes. One is not wearing his band jacket, and silver lieutenant bars are affixed on the shoulders of his white dress shirt.

These guys are making corny comments directed at Jane, and she has this expression on her face like, “these guys think they’re funny?” Her head is turned toward me, so they can’t see her reaction.

Suddenly, Jane and I are sitting in a large room at Lincoln Elementary School where I attended 52–56 years ago. I’m talking with many of my teachers, but I am an adult and they have not aged at all. They are complimenting me to Jane, but I notice none comment that I was a brilliant student (I wasn't) which mildly amuses me.

Even though it has been these many years since I was a student there, my teachers are saying “goodbye” to me as if I’m finally leaving.

While sitting in that room with Jane I notice that a loose band-aid on my right index finger reveals a short deep angled gash, like from a knife cut. The wound is clean, no blood. I’m hoping Jane will notice the wound and feel sorry for me. Then I wake up.

My Happy Dreams & An Important Resolution

2006-08-11T20:56:00.000-04:00

Now, I do have happy dreams; it’s just that I don’t remember them at length. The same people often appear in those dreams, but they do not involve a recurring scenario.

I sometimes dream that I’m with my mother and father, both deceased these 17 and 20 years, respectively. I also occasionally dream of a high school sweetheart who is deceased. Interestingly, it is her husband who is no longer alive in these dreams. I have even dreamed, on rare occasions, that I’m flying.

Still, I can’t recall just where I am when these various people appear in my dreams, or even what is said or done. However, I do recall that they are happy moments.

I awoke from a dream last night, and reviewed it in my mind, recalling most of the details. I fell back asleep and could only recall, upon arising this morning, that I had dreamed. Well, that did it. I purchased a composition notebook today. Now, if only I can get awake enough in the middle of the night to log these dreams.

My Lucid Dreams

2006-08-10T23:14:00.000-04:00

My lucid dreams have a few things in common. They involve a disturbing event, I get an eerie feeling as if I’m in the presence of evil, and I awaken myself from those dreams to escape from the situations. As far as I can recall these are infrequent recurring dreams, and I reach a point where I realize I’m dreaming which is the simple basic description of a lucid dream.

I can’t recall ever having a lucid dream involving a happy or fun experience. Perhaps they occur, but I obviously would not feel the need to escape from them by waking myself.

In one dream I’m approaching a small body of water. It is deep dark and foreboding, and I seem to be drawn to it against my will. As I get the sensation that it is about to swallow me, I escape by awakening.

In another dream I am descending a stairway from a room. The stairway leads to a large room with a high ceiling, but everything is dirt ... the floor, walls and ceiling. The wall I’m facing across the room looks like a cave-in with rubble strewn on the dirt floor. I force myself awake to escape the ominous feeling that comes over me. Sometimes I will turn back to escape this room only to discover the room I had just exited is now like the room I had descended to. That ominous feeling starts to overpower me, and I awaken.

Yet another dream involves a light switch. I am in my kitchen or my bedroom and the lights flicker and dim. I walk over to the light switch and attempt to switch the lights back on. The switch does not work. I suddenly perceive an evil presence in my house. I then awaken to escape this very unpleasant dream.

I am always alone in these dreams; I never see any being, just feel the presence of evil or get the sensation of impending doom.

Disturbing dreams, even the non-lucid kind, are more likely to occur when I get to bed late and am extremely tired. Perhaps that is when I am most apt to experience one of the lucid dreams described herein.

On Dreaming

2006-08-08T20:38:00.000-04:00

I have long been fascinated by dreams and the dream process; what they meant, especially the disturbing ones. I still recall a few dreams, even one that dates back to my childhood. I can usually recall the details of a dream if I awaken immediately after its occurrence. But, I have yet to force myself to stay awake long enough to log a dream, therefore most, if not all, of the dream is lost to me by the time my night’s sleep is finished.

My most interesting dreams are those where I actually realize that I am dreaming and choose to wake up from because they are unpleasant or disturbing. This type dream actually has a name, Lucid Dreaming. I discovered it during a Google search a few months ago while looking for web sites about dreaming.

The dream I recall from my childhood was a recurring one where I was gazing at the closed closet door in my apartment’s living room, and had a sudden compulsion to rush to the door, swing it open and fling myself inside where an ugly stick figure monster was waiting to grab me. When it did grab me, lightening like bolts of a ‘pins-and-needles’ sensation surged through my body. Then I awakened from my nightmare. I also remember that I knew the monster was in that closet waiting for me, at least in subsequent dreams after the first one. Yet, I was compelled to run into that closet. I don’t recall my age at the time, maybe four years or older. But, the dream happened only occasionally.

Anyway, I think the time has come to make an effort to keep a diary of my dreams. And, while my first few posts will likely be my recollection of past dreams, I hope to be able to start reporting current ones. We shall see where this goes.